You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
