i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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