I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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