Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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