Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
