And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
