I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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