My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
