Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
