Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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