I wish my penis had an off switch
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
