I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
