p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
