we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
