I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize