I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
