It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
