TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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