I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
