i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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