haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
