after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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