Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
