Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize