oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm like, not good at living.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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