i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
