he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm too high and old for this...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
