Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am puke
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
