can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
