If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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