I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
