My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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