the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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