apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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