no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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