Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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