Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
