Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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