I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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