It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
