she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize