Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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