Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
