theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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