good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
