How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
