i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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