She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
