Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
