You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
