Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
