Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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