Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
