I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
