SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
