wat bout pragnant strippers??
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
