It's like God shit irony all over that family
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
