He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize