Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
