I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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