Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She announced her abortion via fbk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
