do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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