On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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