I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Randomize
