HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
