Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
