I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
