where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize